Domestic Violence
I Got Flowers Today
I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first arument last night,
And he said alot of cruel things that hurt me.
I know he is soryy and didn't mean the things he said,
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare, I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. I know he must be
sorry,
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
And it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
What about money?
How will I take care of my kids?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave,
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night he beat me.
He killed me too.
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers........today.
(Author Unknown)
Myths And Facts About Domestic Violence
MYTH 1
Domestic violence does not affect many people.
FACT
* A woman is beaten every 15 seconds. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, Report to the nation on Crime and Justice. The Data. Washington DC Office of Justice Program, US Dept. of Justice. Oct 1983)
* Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between ages 15 and 44 in the united States - more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. (Uniform Crime Reports, Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1991)
* Battered women are more likely to suffer miscarriages and to give birth to babies with low birth weights. (Surgeon General, United States, 1992)
MYTH 2
Battering is only a momentary loss of temper.
FACT
* Battering is the establishment of control and fear in a relationship through violence and other forms of abuse. The batterer uses acts of violence and a series of behaviors, including intimidation, threats, psychological abuse, isolation, etc. to coerce and to control the other person. The violence may not happen often, but it remains as a hidden (and constant) terrorizing factor. (Uniform Crime Reports, Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1990)
* "One in five women victimized by their spouses or ex-spouses report they had been victimized over and over again by the same person." (The Basics of Batterer Treatment, Common Purpose, Inc., Jamaica Plain, MA)
MYTH 3
Domestic violence only occurs in poor, urban areas.
FACT
* Women of all cultures, races, occupations, income levels, and ages are battered - by husbands, boyfriends, lovers and partners. (Surgeon General Antonia Novello, as quoted in Domestic Violence: Battered Women, publication of the Reference Department of the Cambridge Public Library, Cambridge, MA)
* "Approximately one-third of the men counseled (for battering) at Emerge are professional men who are well respected in their jobs and their communities. these have included doctors, psychologists, lawyers, ministers, and business executives. (For Shelter and Beyond, Massachusetts Coalition of Battered Women Service Groups, Boston, MA 1990)
MYTH 4
Domestic violence is just a push, slap or punch - it does not produce serious injuries.
FACT
* Battered women are often severely injured - 22 to 35 percent of women who visit medical emergency rooms are there for injuries related to ongoing partner abuse. (David Adams, "Identifying the Assaultive Husband in Court: You be the Judge." Boston Bar Journal, 33-4, July/August 1989)
* One in four pregnant women have a history of partner violence. (Journal of the American Medical Association, 1992)
MYTH 5
It is easy for battered women to leave their abuser.
FACT
* Women who leave their batterers are at a 75% greater risk of being killed by the batterer than those who stay. (Barbara Hart, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1988)
* Nationally, 50 percent of all homeless women and children are on the streets because of violence in the home. (Senator Joseph Biden, U.S. Senate Committee on the Judiciary, Violence Against Women: Victims of the System, 1991)
* There are nearly three times as many animal shelters in the United States as there are shelters for battered women and their children. (Senate Judiciary Hearings, Violence Against Women Act, 1990)
From "Domestic Violence: The Facts" - A Handbook to STOP violence, Battered Women Fighting Back, Boston,MA.
Each month, nearly 11,000 callers - victims of domestic violence, their families and friends across the U.S. - receive crisis intervention, referrals, information and support in many languages.
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) *** 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
Let's Stop Domestic Violence
It Breaks Homes - It Breaks Hearts - It Breaks Lives
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